“A place where there isn’t any trouble. Do you suppose there is such a place, Toto? There must be. It’s not a place you can get to by a boat or a train. It’s far, far away. Behind the moon, beyond the rain.” Judy Garland/Dorthy
I don’t get it. Really I don’t. What is the message? In six hours I went from seeing the light to it all falling apart. Four big deals fell apart. Just like that boom. I cant even feel sorry for myself. I am numb. I want to crawl in a cave. I cannot see the message being sent to me. Where is Glenda the good witch to tell me the secret like she told Dorthy? Why am I stuck in Munchkin Land? Why does my yellow brick road keep getting shut down for construction? I don’t know but laying down in the poppy field is looking attractive…
Posted in alcohol, bikram, binge, blunt, Bravo, broke, daughters, drink, drunk, drunk, hammered, hangover, hatha yoga, hung, hung over, Life Hangover, real estate, shame, tatoo, Wells Fargo, WIFE, women financial
Tagged aa, alcohol, beer, binge, binge drinking, cocktails, death, debt, decite, drinking, encouragement, hammered, hangover, hot yoga, hung over, realtor, sober, social drinking, stress, trouble
It has been awhile. FINALLY I think things MAYBE looking up. praise GOD any God you wish. There is this peak of light that I can see. Summer came and went and I am happy to post that I was able to get thru most of it with out having a major day of SHAME. Or maybe the few days I should have felt that way I just ignored it and moved forward. Long trying summer worked my ass off and hoping to reap the rewards. I did not concentrate on NOT drinking and by doing that I think I drank less. Actually I did not focus on anything but work. I only weeded my garden three times, have not worked out since June when the yoga studio closed (I did run into my yoga instructor…guess where…THE BEER GARDENS at the state fair HAHAHA) OMMM. I worked and worked and worked and happy to report I may reap the benifits this fall. I feel I am stuck until I get the finances in order than I can move on to a little enjoyment.
I also learned lol that a few people think they know my drinking patterns. Which I never thought anyone would be keeping up on that. I went to a wedding one night, the next day I was at a family function and two people said to me: “wow you look pretty good for being at a wedding last night, we thought for sure you would be hung over” like really I thought… F U… and many other thoughts and insults came flowing into my brain. So yeah obviously it bothered me that people would say that…ha the truth hurts. I was proud that they said I looked good BECAUSE I WAS HUNGOVER. Anyway always some defect to work on. Never ending work to become an acceptable human being.
Posted in 1, alchol, alcohol, bikram, binge, blunt, Bravo, broke, daughters, drink, drunk, hammered, hangover, hatha yoga, Hot Yoga, hung, hung over, LIFE HANGOVER, marlboro, real estate, shame, tatoo, teenager, WIFE, women financial
Tagged aa, alcohol, beer, bikram, binge, binge drinking, booze, cocktails, death, debt, decite, drink, drinking, drunk, encouragement, hammered, hangover, hung over, social drinking, yoga
